Depressed

yeah that exactly explains what am I feeling now. 


Reason: Too many works hv to do.


Ok, to be truth that everytime I try to speak it out to my RL friends, they'll sort of saying that, 'like we dun hv lots of work' etc etc. 


I'm a slow yet too hard to understand whatever any new info hit me up, but seems like they didnt care about it. And that make me depressed, since I hv 2 catch up with them with no recollection of anything that maybe  r included in the exam.


The words that always comes out from them is, 'oh, she didnt want to do that', 'yeah, she's a lazy b***h', 'why is that she dun want to that? wasnt that thing is easy 4 her?' n such, n such. Those who know how I do my work, they seldom say that. But those who dont, let me make it clear here.


I am the 1 who is the weakest in the grades n such, and I do deserve what u guys hv throughout the days you study here. Good grades, perfect courseworks, informative assignments, meaningful groupworks. Somehow I cant adapt myself to some of your style of working. I'm slow n still learning and I cant learn as fast as lightning like you guys. I maybe didnt talk much in class and you may assume that I understand EVERYTHING despite my oh-so-perfect-student-profile of me. But no, you are wrong. Sometime, I dun understand and IDK what am I going to ask if I dun understand. I dun want you guys 2 give me 2nd lecture of the same topic n such too coz I know how wasting time it is. And I cant adapt with you guys. At least for now.


All I need is time. I appreciate that if you give me more time 4 myself to adapt with everything happen in the class, in the hostel, in the campus n in everywhere else where I stand. And help, really IDK how to ask 4 sum1 else's help, coz all I got is rejection, time x matching, so on n so off. That's under my consideration every1 I ask 4 anything, jsyk. It's x nice 2 invade ppl's RL, srsly.


And I'm x hardworking like you guys. I cant compete. Get me ready and I'm going 2 compete with you guys. 2 yrs left, rite??


Sincerely, Me.


p/s: cant u guys believe that I myself actually crying when I post this? I do, and maybe that helps.