how come?

How come U guys still can appear nice, attractive and stand out even tho U dun hv lots of money?

Every time when I look at myself in the mirror, I wondered, am I a REAL woman or not. Because I hate makeup myself everyday, dun hv proper clothes for any occasion (events, outings etc), and not too attractive.

I dun like being too attractive tbh. Some ppl may say that is so ridiculous for a young woman like me. 21 going 22, LOL! Some ppl said being a fair-skin woman allows U 2 wear anything that some ppl unable to wear. Some ppl said having an average body shape makes U able to wear any clothes that U desire.

For a not so fashionista and poor young woman like me, it's a NO!

I have all those criteria that makes me able to wear any clothes that every woman want, but, I dun agree to that.

Every time when I go back home, I become the next door girl. I dun use makeups and use loose clothings. My money isn't used to buy some suitable clothes. Like I said, I'm poor. Most of my moneys, I use it for foods, learning and teaching aids, books and prepaids.  And clothes and cosmetics not in my list. Or, mostly, unable to land a spot in my list.

So being the next door girl I am, I go on with that character to my IPG. Totally doesn't suit me at all, and makes me felt 'small and almost unseen' among my friends.

And the surroundings are teasing me to act like ppl around me, and indirectly humiliate me.

I even thought that I'm not suitable to be a teacher. Teachers must dress nicely and appear attractively in order for students to recognize and paying attention to us in class. For a next door girl like me, that's so impossible for me to dress like that.

I have no idea how to stand out among them and at the same time being humble and such.

So, going back to my question on the 1st paragraph: How come U guys still can appear nice, attractive and stand out even tho U dun hv lots of money?

I wanna know.

(This yr's full with 'How's?' and 'I wanna know's in my blog. Simply bcoz I am going 2 grad next yr and soon will be going 4 my 1st practicum, and those wonderings made me felt uneasy for my 1st practicum. *sigh* You have no idea how much I need help here. I may dun say it directly to your face but I write it here 4 you 2 read. This is the reason why I create this blog..)