so far in the middle of 2012

First 6 months of 2012 brings lots of challenges and things to remember, ponder and to be taken as a reminder to face the life ahead. For me of course.

Kento: Hmph, that was a very lame opening, ZRC-chan.

I know Nakaji, whatever. My post.



Okay, I survived 1 month practicum, the busiest period of all semester in IPGKTAR, and the dramas. Yeah. the real life dramas. Make new friends. And currently trying to forget and erase something that always haunting me since the end of 2008. Yeah, long-time crush on a certain someone. It's quite hard, you know, crushing on that particular someone since 2008. I just wish that he wouldn't exist in anywhere where I can see him. That's all I can do right now.

I'm still a fangirl. You know what, being fangirl makes me happy. I instantly felt all the burdens went away yesterday when I saw tons of Yamada GIFs on Tumblr. Of course there are many ways to handle stress but this is my way, and it works so far. I don't care if they look like girls. You have no idea how much I felt happy whenever I saw their pictures, videos, and GIFs, listening to their songs, and read the translation of their articles and cross talks in the magazines.

What makes me unhappy being a fangirl is, I only can express it through FB, Tumblr and Skype. I wish if I have someone in my real life that I can talk about it every single day. Well, that's particularly every fangirl's wish, isn't it?

Every time when I sit down and let the silence wrapping around me, I always wondering, why certain things happen? For example, when I think of my surroundings which is, lots of people around me are in a relationship, I always wonder why I am alone? Not to mention I am mentally dating Kanata Hongo, LOL! I just don't know how to make friends. I don't find any similarities in between me and them. I always think myself different. I am not too feminine, not too pious, not too friendly. Last time there was a suggestion from a friend, saying that I need to start the conversation instead of being too quiet in a group of strangers.

I'm introvert, I know. Throw me a duct tape and I can play with it during my bored time in 3 months. That's not me saying, That's Chinen.... well, I don't know if I should be proud of me being unique at all. I don't know too if I should maintain this attitude forever.

Because I always think that I need to change...but don't know which part should I change and will I happy if I do it.

I admit, I am under depression right now, and one way for me to let it go is by being a fangirl. But then I think, I can't be a fangirl forever. I'm going 22 this August and one step closer to enter the job world. I need to find who I am clearly before going to that world.

Does that sound that I need help right now? Yes, I am.

Moving on, here's the things I survived in the terms of fandom:

1. I survived 9 episodes of Yamada (plus Yuto in 1 unlucky episode) crossdressing in Risou no Musuko. (and to be honest, I haven't finish watching RnM yet)

Yamada: Good thing U haven't finished watching, ZRC-chan. It's a shame of watching myself cross dress.

IDK me but lot of people found it amusing, Yamada.

2. I survived YamaJima vs YamaChii war. That was just a bunch of kids in the fandom, I know. That's why I don't like 'kids' in my fandom.

Chinen: It should be NYC, ok?

Yamada: Yeah. N for Nakajima, Y for Yamada and C for Chinen. Peace yo!

It should be, but again, Johnny don't want any similarities with SNSD who have their own sub unit consists of 3/9 members called TTS. Plus, Nakayama Yuma needs LOVE, midgets!


3. I survived JUMP World. While everyone go dying after listening to Boku wa Vampire, I just...

I'm not lying! Listen it here!

4. I survived Bakaleya. Though I don't stand those AKB girls especially that vice-president (I don't even care what is her name though).

Shin: 'Sup?

Even so, there are some things that I don't survive.

1. I didn't survive Shinikare. That,is a mobile drama where Fujigaya Taisuke starred in as the main role. Why? Because Taipi was just ASDFGHJKL~

Woman: WHAT???

WOMAN, I DON'T HAVE THE NOTTV MOBILE PHONE TO WATCH IT, OK? GO MAKE OUT WITH TAIPI AS LONG AS U CAN AND I WILL REGRET NOTHING!

2. I didn't survive Ataru. It still boring even though Tamamori Yuta inside it. 

Tama: Hontou?

*shrugs* sorry.

3. I didn't survive Saikou no Jinsei no Owarikata. 'Ihara Hayato' almost fall in love make Chinen Yuri got his first leading role in a romance drama. Girls, you should thank Okamoto Rei!

or, maybe not.

I need sleep. Yes, I'm going to enjoy the rest of 2012. What we have on the next half of 2012 is;

Chinen's new drama....

Chinen: and I'm dying my hair brunette for the first time since 30th November 1993~

Bakaleya movie...

Shohei: Shohei is happy!!!

Taipi and Mitsu's new drama...

HiroSuke: WE'RE IN DRAMA TOGETHER AGAIN!

Yamada: Whatever, I'm ready for next season's drama!

and ready for challenges in another semester in IPGKTAR!

(c) to the owner of the GIFs and pictures. Post by me, and the caption under some GIFs and pics is also mine. Thank you.